madly in love

I'm madly in love with "red maroon"
I'm madly in love with "maroon" that andita gave to me 2 days ago
I'm madly in love with weather in this town lately
and.
I'm madly in love with...you.

and, how embarrasing it is. hahaha

Oh God,what have I got myself into? Everything in my life was just normal before. No fireworks , no awkward moment , no confusion , and, nothing,just like the others. Sleep , eat , study , hang out with friends , seeing some guy, and another normal routine.
Now? My heads keep think, think ,think and thinking. My heart skips a beat every time I saw him. And every moment  become those "awkward". It have been a long time I'm being like this since last I fell in love with someone . 2 years ago? or maybe 3 years? I don't know ,it's feel like century from those, ghost of my past. hahaha, too dramatic,again, how could I say century eventhough I'm only just nineteen right now.hahaha. 
Well,the only thing you should know is, I still no idea why I can fall with this one? The more I think about it, Then the  more I can not find the answer. Did I make that sounds too dramatic again? haha
I mean, what if on that day me and fika watch those samishen concert? and what if on the next day after we met , we didn't actually met? Okay , maybe you get confused for what I'm saying for , but maybe this , this is just like  the people say, "fate" in a word. I used to not believe in fate , but now? Guess I'm wrong.


But you know what's the best part of these? fall in love again I mean.
Even if an earthquake would happen in here,or whatever, you'll just smile, alone and all day long like a foolish person in the world
And the worst part is?
your cheeks are getting tired and your bestfriends would bullying you until your face color change into the same color of tomato's, then you'll exactly looks like "walking crab in the sun"

Like today, the effects of one ,mmmm haha, smile , still felt until now.hahaha,I was reaaally freaked out. My heart skipped a beat for a while,just because of it.hahaha. Is it pretty much? YES. And actually I'm, become more anoyyed with these things. One more thing! his friends are just , ERRRR ! For God's sake,they have a f**king mouth,for real. Can't they just shut up  and just watch?   because of them , everyperson everybody and everyone know that I have a crush on him. aaah,poorly, really poor I am, and I think I'm gonna cry if I imagine what they've already told to him.
I expected that it would be end like , the only person that know I'm in love is, me. just me, and nobody knows. It's such a mistake to told fika everything, and it spreads to all over campus.Feels like my face is gone,and too embarrasing to appears in front of him anymore. Thanks to his friends, How could  they do that to me? really.

God, when all of this will end? actually I need to focus on my college things right know. And I want my face back so I can walking in campus without thinking what would gonna happen for next?
The only I can do just wish , wish , and keep wishing , And everything would back to normal again.

keep calm and stay cool chikin, you can get through of this. hope so